Tomato soup for You
by Fekete
Summary: When you're in a relationship, it's obvious you want to make your lover happy. And what better way is there other than cooking them their favorite dish? Probably when your name is Arthur Kirkland you should stay far away from the oven though. England/Romano


**Fandom**: Axis Powers Hetalia

**Pairing**: Engmano/England x Romano/Arthur x Lovino

**Warnings**: Swearing, Shounen Ai/Boy x Boy/BL, Homosexuality, weirdness

**Disclaimer**: I do **not** own Hetalia nor the characters, they belong to Himaruya Hidekaz-sensei. Focus and The Times belong to their rightful owners. Doctor Who belongs to BBC.

**A/N:** Dedicated to a dear _**SpadedHeart**_. IS YOU HAPPY, I WROTE IT XD! I'm sorry it sucks though, you deserve so much better than this OTL.

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Cooking couldn't be this hard. Sure it couldn't. It was only cooking. You were only supposed to mix some ingredients together and throw them together into a boiling water. How could it be hard? It was only a stupid tomato soup! And since it was tomato soup, you obviously needed to add fifteen tomatoes, a cup of salt, three table spoons of sugar, two cups of heavy cream and some olive oil.. around half a cup! And maybe three cucumbers to add some taste. So why in the bloody hell wasn't this damned soup turning orange like it was supposed to?! Why the fuck was it green with white spots and red stripes?

Meet Arthur Kirkland, the honour student and the student council president of one of the most prestigious schools in England. He was good in every science subject, loving chemistry especially much. However what he truly loved was literature and history, and that's what he paid the attention to mainly. His plan for the future was to become an international journalist. He was good at sports, mainly in football and tennis. He was a first-string player for his school's football team, his position being a forward. What to say, Arthur was an outstanding student that the academy was very proud of.

He was a seventeen, nearly eighteen, years old healthy boy, with ashy blond hair and sparkling green eyes. He wasn't the tallest or the shortest, but he definitely belonged to the handsome and charming ones. He was very polite and gentle towards women, always offering to help them when they needed him. To men he was just like a tyrant, who returned from a trip to hell after taking a good lesson from Lucifer himself. During the breaks he'd often disappear mysteriously for a short period of time. He had a good sense of humour, always joking around about magic and unicorns or something similar.

Handsome, smart, athletic, polite, gentle and mysterious with a tad of great humour.

Arthur Kirkland was women's ideal prince charming.

It's really stupid how foolish people couldn't see someone's true nature, deciding to judge the person only by their appearance, results of studying and rumours. Of course they weren't exactly wrong about everything. Arthur was handsome in his own boyish way. Just he didn't do anything with his hair, because he couldn't be bothered, really. He kind of ran his hand through them and considered it combed. Of course that he was smart, he was more of a bookworm than anyone in the school. Since his oldest brother was a complete opposite of him and hated studying, Arthur dedicated his whole life in order to turn out differently than that lazy bum. He liked sports, but the main reason why he joined school's football team was to help lead these imbeciles to victory. Cartwood Academy could not lose in terms of sports, naturally. This was Arthur's main objective as a student council president. It was no wonder females saw him as polite and gentle. He believed that every man should be a gentleman towards a woman, because they simply deserve it. Also his mother taught him that, and because he respected her greatly – she did bring up five sons and dealt with her husband for all these years after all – he did as he was told. He wasn't especially mysterious, he just simply hated people. A lot. He considered them dumb and annoying and not worth talking to. And everything they believed was his 'good humour' was just him being sarcastic. Also, he actually believed in unicorns, fairies and magic, even practicing it with his two friends, Lukas and Dimitrie, whenever they found some time.

The people at school also didn't know a few vital things. Arthur was a romantic type that believed it was important to spend your lover's birthday together with them. Also, he was gay. And he was dating a boy from a different school. The boy he was dating was a culinary student, who enjoyed cooking and eating good food. He always cooked delicious food for Arthur, blushing cutely and mumbling that he didn't make it for him especially because he wanted Kirkland to eat it, but because he just wanted to remind the British boy of his superb culinary skills. Arthur blushed right back and grumbled that he'd eaten better food already. But both of them knew that the other had lied.

They met by accident. Arthur was out rendezvousing with his best friend, Kiku. When he says rendezvousing, he obviously means going out to the bookstore to find the newest issue of Focus, a science and technology magazine. Kiku was very passionate about it as well as about the stuff he called 'manga' and 'doujinshi'. The letter one, Arthur had learned one awful, tragic and traumatic day, should definitely be forbidden. The day when Arthur and Kiku went to buy that blasted magazine, it just so happened that a very charming young man entered, with his school bag hanging from his right shoulder. The Brit probably wouldn't even notice him, being too busy looking over new issue of "The Times". It just obviously had to turn into this soup opera like moment, where Kiku realized he and the guy that just entered used to be classmates in elementary school and that they're actually very good friends.

And that is how Arthur Kirkland had met his future beloved, Lovino Vargas.

Their beginnings were… rough as hell, you could say. Born with similar personalities they were either bound to hate or love each other right from the beginning. Unfortunately for them, it happened to be the first one. Arthur, who had a tiny weeny bit of a crush on Kiku back then, got jealous. Lovino, who didn't especially like it when people with huge eyebrows kept harassing his friends, got overprotective. They started quarrelling in the middle of the bookstore, not even knowing each other's names yet, about nothing in particular. Actually, just throwing random insults at one another. Soon Lovino was too pissed off to care and switched to Italian. Arthur, not understanding anything, slipped into his British slang, using some of the Scottish, Irish and Welsh insults as well as the English ones. Kiku, on the other hand, entered his rare samurai mode and knocked them out, too embarrassed to deal with them in another way. He paid for his magazine and, without any difficulties, carried out two teenage boys from the bookstore.

Afterwards they just somehow met up in the café. It was supposed to be the three of them, but Kiku fell sick and couldn't make it. Of course he failed – intentionally - to inform either of the boys. At first it was tense and they insulted each other a bit. Then it turned into some weird contest on who can win their waitress's heart first. The poor girl was so frustrated, but she officially blushed more when Lovino opened his mouth. When their coffees arrived, Arthur, out of politeness, started a conversation about literature. Unexpectedly, they hit it off immidietly after that. It took them exactly seventeen coffee dates to become friends, and nine months to admit that they might be, indeed dating. Saying 'I love you' took another two months.

And that is how we come back to the start. Lovino and Arthur had been dating for almost two years now (that is if you include six months before they started going out with each other). It was almost March 17th too, which meant that Italian's eighteenth birthday was coming up.

Arthur did not get all hyper about it, nah. He was just very happy for his dearest lover for achieving a wise age of 18 and getting a little bit more mature. He obviously did not look in some girly magazine he snatched from Michelle, and see that the best present for your lover is cooking something delicious. No, of course not. He just so happened to want to make some good tomato soup on the March 17th, which just so happened to be Lovino's favourite soup. That is all. Really.

And that's how the honour student, amazing athlete, good son and reliable friend, Arthur Kirkland, ended up in a kitchen with something that was supposed to be tomato soup, but was more of a deathly potion than anything.

See, Arthur couldn't cook.

But he forgot that he can't cook and invited Lovino for a home cooked meal anyway. And you could say that the soup was done just in time, because a temperamental Italian boy had just arrived to Kirkland's place.

"_Well, fuck_" Arthur thought to himself, glaring at the pot for the nth time. Why is it that whenever he tried to cook something it always turned out so bloody weirdly? The last time he made some fish and chips his entire family ended up in a hospital from food poisoning. Since then his mother forbid him to even touch the oven.

"Oi, eyebrow bastard, hurry up! It's fucking downpour outside!" Lovino's annoyed voice sounded through the open window. Arthur bit his lip and slowly walked towards the door. On the other side of this wooden gate stood his lover, probably starving and waiting for a warm soup. How in the name of the holy lady was he supposed to give Lovino a green soup anyway? That wanker will laugh at him! Squeezing his eyes, he slowly opened the door.

Lovino was dressed in casual clothes. A simple black shirt and skinny jeans, a grey jacket hugging his form tightly. That blasted Italian always looked so bloody sexy in whatever clothing. It should be illegal. He was handsome to begin with anyway! With his sun-kissed skin, bright hazel eyes, soft brown hair and a rare smile worth more than thousand stars. Plus his full lips and cheeks that were oh-so-easily red, it just made you want to pin him to the bloody wall and devour right there. And that pout!

"Hello" Arthur said awkwardly, not making love to Lovino with his eyes or anything.

"Hi, bastard" Lovino grumbled, shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

"Hello there" the Brit repeated, blood rushing to his cheeks. It is really unfair how that Italian wanker can be so sexy just standing there, looking all frustrated. Just damn Francis for feeding him weird ideas, and damn Lovino for being a virgin and yet still being so awfully tempting. And damn eating. They could be doing so many more interesting things.

"Are you fucking playing Rose Tyler with me, or are you just being a generally stupid blond that happened to be the Doctor's new partner? A wonder why all of his comrades are dumb" Lovino smirked sexually and- no. See, the next reason why Arthur fell in love with Vargas was because the boy was actually a huge Doctor Who fan. And the both of them could talk for hours about it. Of course the Brit never really told his lover about how happy it makes him to have a fellow fan so near. But Lovino had his suspicions. Arthur grinned and pulled the other boy in, hugging him as he did so. It was embarrassing, but the door have officially closed and it was their alone time now. Now they could kiss and hug and fuck the world.

"I can be Rose if you play the Doctor in a scene where they kiss, episode thirteen season four, special" Arthur murmured in the frustrated Italian's ear seductively, hoping that it'll distract the boy for a little while longer. That maybe he'd forget about the bloody meal and-

"You do that, bastard" when it was only the two of them, all the masks were taken off and all that was left was only love and passion. And with an Italian, who was obviously born to be a lover, and an Englishman, who was very skilled with his tongue, the things could not stay calm for long.

Arthur looked at Lovino's face, which was adored by a beautiful blush, and smiled lightly, before leaning down and capturing Vargas' lips with his own. It never failed to amaze Arthur how hot Lovino's lips were. They were so warm and wet and soft. Their every kiss felt like a light touch of butterfly wings, like a snowflake falling on top of your nose, only warmer. This type of kiss was filled with most of their love. Lovino parted his lips slightly, inviting the Brit inside. Without arguing, Arthur's wet tongue slowly slid on Italian's lower lip, coating it with his salvia. To anyone other it could look disgusting, but neither of them minded. It felt nice and clearly showed that they belong to each other. As Kirkland's muscle moved inside Lovino's mouth and pressed against his tongue, a low moan escaped Italian's lovely mouth. It was arousing and only kept their kiss going. Every time their lips touched it felt like fireworks were going off in Arthur's heart. He felt so light-hearted and so lustful at the same time. His heart pounded quickly against his rips whenever Lovino's head titled ever so slightly to deepen their kiss.

Their lips parted, hazy green eyes met hazel, shy smiles were exchanged. It was such a peaceful atmosphere, such a good atmosphere that could lead them, for the very first time, to bed, to make love, to-

"Arthur, a smoke is coming out of your kitchen" Lovino said plainly, wiggling out from Brit's embrace. Kirkland blinked, before turning his head around slowly. There it was, a devilish trail of grey smoke floating in the air, successfully kicking all the lovely atmosphere to hell.

"Blimey!" Kirkland yelled and run to the kitchen. As he looked at the pot, he noticed that the green soup was slowly turning black somehow. He walked towards the oven quickly and turned off the fire, staring at the mixture in front of his eyes with wonder. It looked pretty nice, actually. It didn't smell half bad either.

"What the fuck is that?" Lovino's voice broke his thoughts. The English boy straightened up and turned to face his lover. They stared at each other for few seconds with serious expressions on.

"It is your birthday present, git" Italian's eyebrow quirked upwards as he approached the pot. He stared at the mixture, as if trying to deduce what exactly was in the pot.

"And that thing is…?"

"It is a bloody tomato soup" Lovino jumped away from the oven, looking at Arthur with widened eyes.

"No"

"Oh hell to the yes" when no response came, Arthur's cheek got red from embarrassment. He was about to pick the pot and go with it to the toilet to flush the whole thing, when Lovino's hand stopped him. The Italian took a spoon and filled it with black-green mixture. Then, carefully, trying not to spill anything, the spoon flew right to his mouth. He grimaced but still gulped the whole thing down.

"Fuck, it's like this thing was trying to kill me" he panted, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He looked up and met Arthur's eyes "Thanks for the present, bastard. But if that's all, I'm really disappointed. I mean, it's been two fucking years and you've never taken me to a damned bed" both of them smiled wickedly at each other. Arthur took Lovino's hand and practically ran to the bedroom together with him.

xXx

Love is an unexpected thing that comes rushing to you in a form which you least expect it to. If you aren't sure if your lover loves you, make them a tomato soup that will turn black thanks to your skills. If they drink it and are still willing to be with you, it is true love. At least that's how it worked in Arthur's and Lovino's case. They didn't let a little obstacle like Arthur's inability to cook stand in their way. In few years they exchanged rings, and even though it wasn't official, they were married. Lovino became a famous chef and Arthur a journalist. And they lived happily ever after, insulting each other instead of being cheesy and using 'love' or 'honey'. Because they were different, and yet their love was strong and lasted forever.

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**A/N: Engmano needs more love. **

**Yaaay for cheesy ending. Sorry, couldn't refuse the temptation. It kind of was supposed to refer to homosexuality being just another kind of love, and not sickness, and that even homosexual couples can be very happy and in love together. Just little thoughts because I'm sick of people telling me that homosexuality is wrong. **

**Also, yaay. It SO did not turn out like it was supposed to. I blame Word and it's whiteness, sucking in the ideas of poor young authors that have enough problems with mustering their courage to frigging write anything at all =.= . Stupid Word. But yeah. There you have this… something. I hope it didn't suck to much. I wasn't even writing this until two hours ago, but the idea just came to my mind and BAM. It was born. And then I uploaded it here. Well, sorry OTL. **

**Also, yay for sucky tittle! **

**And if anyone here who reads it (IF someone reads it, I mean), knows my other story, Bloody Games, I'm so sorry ;A;. I'm not sure I'll be able to publish a new chapter this weekend, because my computer crushed. AND I WAS NEARLY DONE WITH THE CHAPTER. And now it crushed OTL. Life hates me. This was written as an apology gift on my dad's laptop :p. **

**It's not important, but I'll tell you anyway. If you think that a human that cooks like England doesn't exist, **_**you are wrong**_**. Cooking is hell. So to everyone that can cook, YOU ARE AMAZING. **

**Yeah, okay, I think I've taken enough of your time. Thank you very much for going out of your way and reading this pointless fic *bows*. And woohoo, bless all the Hetalians and Whovians out there ;D. **


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